The Clean Sheet: One Liners

Sometimes this is to easy. I, and others, have been warning against the declining standards of soccer journalism for some time now. And Mr. Palace, while I don't question his motives, I do question his style, has certainly run his course. The Sportcenter model of writing must end, not only for Mr. Palace, but for all those Chris Berman wanna be's. Mr. Lalas, did you catch that?

Anyhow, for your reading pleasure, here is the distilled version of Mr. Palace's column -

TCS SAYS: I think the winner between Dubuque State and the Rockford under-17 girls team.

Guy was needed about as much as Jennifer Love Hewitt's acting coach.

By the way, this just in: John O'Brien got hurt again.

TCS SAYS: I don't blame 'em ... who the heck would want to be in Chicago anyway? By the way, love my small market Twins sweeping away the ChiSox this week (although my boys will be watching the Pale Hose in the playoffs, so I better zip my yap).

TCS SAYS: Love it. Now if they can just get their talent on MLS games and highlight shows to learn the names of all the players. Doesn't matter how good you are as a game broadcaster or highlight host, if you can't pronounce names of MLS starters or identify players correctly, your credibility is absolutely shot.

THE NEWS: A group of Metro players will be featured with Brazilian über-babe Gisele Bundchen in the September 2005 issue of Vogue magazine.

TCS SAYS: Unlike most of the Metro senior internationals over the years, finally a Metro foreigner I wouldn't mind seeing washed up.

Saturday - FC DALLAS at CREW (4 p.m. ET on The Deuce): The halftime show will feature Robert Warzycha firing soccer balls at Frankie HEY!DUCK!, who will only be allowed to defend himself with a surfboard.

Saturday - GALAXY at UNITED (7:30 p.m. ET on Fox Soccer Channel): The Galaxy taking the field for a road game must feel as hopeless as Greg Lalas strolling into a pick-up bar..

Did you by any chance catch the roast of Pam Anderson on Comedy Central? I'm ashamed to say I did, and I'm even more ashamed to say there were more than a few laugh-out-loud moments. The show stealer: former Jeff Bradley love interest Bea Arthur. Worth a look if you can find it.

Every World Cup game from Schnitzeland is going to be in HD.